In episode 513 Mike is subjected to his first experiment on the satellite after Joel's escape. The Brain that wouldn't Die dares to explore the (for rather obvious reasons) not often asked question: What happens when the fiancé of a deranged doctor is decapitated in a car crash only to find herself being kept alive as a head soaking in a lasagne pan under the close supervision of her creepy fiancé and his rather inept and insecure assistant? Well, she turns vengeful and homicidal. Obviously! Now, this is in and of itself not particularly threatening coming from a motionless head in a pan (if one is willing to ignore the fact that her decapitation somehow makes her unable to shut up), so for some inexplicable reason (or plot convenience) she is able to communicate with one of her fiancé's former failed experiments in transplantation (made from bodies he stole from the morgue), which is kept somewhat "secure" in a closet. (How her bodiless head is even able to talk is anyone's guess. Maybe it's the magic neck-juice...) But before an unsuspecting audience reaches the highlight of further dismemberment of the cast, we are subjected to the woman heckling the disabled assistant while her doctor fiancé roams the streets of downtown Who Knows, searching for an able bodied woman to decapitate and transplant his fiancé's head on to. Yes, there really are quite a lot of disturbing premises in this movie. Anyway, after having searched what is apparently a Strip 'n Dine, stalked women on the street in his car, and gone to a beauty contest, our "good" doctor finally finds the perfect victim in the form of a former female acquaintance, who, due to a rather unfortunate scarring incident, has developed a somewhat "confrontational" attitude and distrust of men. Why exactly that leaves her to earn money by posing stiffly and un-erotically in a bikini in front of sad men with cameras in her own home, is anyone's guess. Anyway, under pretence of wanting to help her, our "good" doctor lures her to his home in order to steal her body for his fiancé's head. Yes, the positive moral of this story basically seems to be: Trust no one! EVER! While all this is going on, the poor audience is treated to what has got to be one of the longest, most dragged out death scenes in movie history, spanning almost 2½ minutes and no less than two floors (with a small rest in a chair for good measure), when the insecure assistant gets his good arm ripped off by "the thing in the closet". Oh well, the "good" doctor is foiled in his endeavour to transplant his fiancé's head on to his stiff and un-erotic acquaintance and is killed by "the thing" (after a rather strange wrestling match involving a door) and "the thing" manages to escape with Ms. Stiffness while the house spontaneously catches fire much to the strange amusement of our head-in-a-pan. There really isn't a lot to say about this movie except its amazingly unappealing characters, its disturbing premises, and its rather bleak view at humanity in general. It does however seem to have a bit of an identity crisis in the end as the title is inexplicably changed from "The Brain..." to "The Head that wouldn't Die". A more fitting title, as pointed out in the last segment of this episode, would probably have been "The Mouth that wouldn't Die". Fun Fact: Apparently it took three years for this movie to be released after it was done, because of its rather twisted plot and its passion for general dismemberment. Other (less) Fun Fact: The producer and story writer, Rex Carlton, killed himself in ´68 allegedly because he couldn't pay back a loan he took from the mob to finance another movie. Yet Another Fun Fact: "The thing in the closet" was played by the huge wrestler Eddie Carmel who went on to "star" in the rather risqué comedy 50.000 B.C. (Before Clothing) from 1963. Wonder if that means Mr. Soggy Butt is naked in that... (well, that's my future sex life down the drain. Thanks for nothing, bloody research!) Look out for a wildly fluctuating nothing, Ms. Chestular region, Hitler, snap tight limbs, neck-juice, Bill Clinton in the Oval office, ways, Kurt Cobain's house, the realization that the liver isn't in the skull, a head that can't say no, the eroticism of tissue, a complicated beer-bong, lots of ways, a farewell to arms, flammable marble edges, Johnny Tremain, corpse relaxing music, the hand of William Proxmire, many ways, a dismemberment rejection, a whoever, Faye Dunaway, a posing Betty Rubble, another dimension, a head-quarters, a soggy butt, a canvass skull, a road attacking, an unfortunate smell, the power of Matthew Starr, and WAYS! Enjoy! (Unless you have to hurry.)
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