|Cool as Ice|
|"Drop that zero and get wit da hero!" - Vanilla Ice|
|Riffers||Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett|
|Date Released||February 19, 2013|
Cool as Ice is a 1991 American musical romance film directed by David Kellogg and starring rapper Vanilla Ice in his feature film debut. The film focuses on the character of Johnny Van Owen, a freewheeling, motorcycle-riding rapper who arrives in a small town and meets Kathy, an honor student who catches his eye. Meanwhile, Kathy's father, who is in witness protection, is found by the corrupt police officers he escaped from years ago. The film was developed as a vehicle for Vanilla Ice, and was commercially and critically unsuccessful. RiffTrax released their riff in February 2013.
In 2014, Kevin Murphy named this as one of his favorite riffs.
Synopsis and PreviewEdit
Johnny Van Owen (Vanilla Ice) is a carefree rapper who drifts from city to city performing with his crew. As the film begins, Johnny is performing at a nightclub rapping and dancing with his crew and a club background songstress (Naomi Campbell) playing "Cool as Ice (Everybody Get Loose)". When the club closes for the night, Johnny receives a phone number from a female audience member. The crew then heads out on their motorcycles, heading to their next show.
While the group passes through a small town, the rebellious Johnny falls for honor student Kathy Winslow (Kristin Minter). The crew is stranded in the town after a member's motorcycle breaks down and has to be left at a local repair shop. While waiting for repairs, Johnny uses the opportunity to see Kathy. Unfortunately for him, she already has a boyfriend named Nick (John Haymes Newton), whom he advises Kathy to dump ("Drop that zero and get with the hero").
Acting on a tip from Kathy's younger brother, Tommy, Johnny shows up with his crew at a local club frequented by Kathy and her friends. Noticing that no one was enjoying the live music playing at the club, Johnny and the crew decide to perform a musical number ("People's Choice") by unplugging the other band's instruments and taking control, shocking the audience and ending with Johnny sweeping Kathy off her feet, humiliating Nick. He offers to forgive Kathy and take her home, but she refuses and walks home by herself. Unbeknownst to Kathy, however, she is stalked by two strange men in a car. She is saved by Johnny, who takes her home. At the club's parking lot, a jealous Nick and his friends smash up motorcycles belonging to Johnny's friends. Nick's friends attack the rapping biker who fights back, leaving Nick and his buddies unconscious and Nick himself in the hospital with a broken nose.
Kathy's father, Gordon (Michael Gross), becomes suspicious of Johnny, and warns Kathy to stay away from him because they can't trust strangers. Despite her protests, her father insists; for her safety as well as that of the Winslow family. The next day, Kathy goes for a ride with Johnny against her father's wishes. They ride all over town, including a construction site, paying no heed to the time (featuring the song "Never Wanna Be Without You"). When they finally return home, they are greeted by an angry Gordon, who coldly warns Johnny to stay away from his daughter.
Gordon, under pressure from his wife Grace (Candy Clark), reveals to Kathy the secret of his past—he was once a police officer before he met her mother. They were on the run from two corrupt cops (who claimed they were owed money by the Winslows) and were able to escape using fabricated documents, explaining why he kept his life a secret from Kathy all these years. Kathy criticizes her father, saying it was not fair that he lied to her in order to protect her, yet refuse to permit her to see a total stranger.
The next day, Johnny agrees to give Tommy a ride on his bike. They cruise through the streets, and finally back to the Winslow home where Tommy is kidnapped. At the repair shop, the crew prepares to leave town since the bike has been repaired, but they tell Johnny to say goodbye to Kathy for the last time. When Johnny arrives at the Winslow house, he finds an envelope meant for the family. It turns out to be a message from the crooked cops with Tommy recording it. Fearing the worst, Gordon accuses Johnny of criminal involvement, much to Kathy's dismay.
When Kathy asks Johnny to play the tape left behind by the kidnappers, he hears a loud clanging noise from a construction vehicle, revealing the message was recorded at the construction site. The gang ambushes the kidnappers and rescue Tommy. When the police arrive, the gang return Tommy to the Winslows, and Gordon apologizes to Johnny. The rapper tells Kathy he has to move on, but she decides to follow him. Around the same time, Nick arrives in his car, telling Kathy to get used to being a biker chick because she will never see him again. Not discouraged, Kathy holds on as Johnny uses the car as a ramp, much to Nick's shock. The two new lovers then ride off into the big city.
The film ends with Johnny finally reaching his destination, rapping ("Get Wit It") and dancing with his crew to an audience at a night club. Kathy, who is among the audience, joins him on stage after the show is over, dancing alone in the spotlight.